“I wake up every morning feeling like I’m stuck in someone else’s nightmare. Even on the brightest days, it feels like I’m carrying a weight I can’t put down.”
That’s what a client once opened up with me, and honestly, her words have echoed in my mind ever since. Why do some experiences leave such a lasting mark? And when trauma quietly shapes our days, how do we even begin to heal?
After years of sitting with people as they unpack their pain, I’ve learned that trauma is both universal and deeply personal. It’s not just about what happened—it’s about how it lingers, sometimes quietly, sometimes with a roar. But I’ve also witnessed hope—small steps, gentle routines, and real strategies that help people move from simply surviving to genuinely living again. Let’s explore what trauma truly is, how it shows up in our lives, and what can help you (or someone you care about) start to heal.
Trauma isn’t always loud or dramatic. Sometimes, it creeps in slowly, like a crack in a window that gets bigger over time. Peter Levine, a pioneer in trauma research, describes it as a loss of connection to ourselves, to others, and to the world around us. That disconnect can happen after all sorts of experiences: emotional abuse as a child, witnessing violence, or losing someone close.
When you’re threatened, your body jumps into action—heart racing, muscles tense, adrenaline pumping. But if you can’t fight or run, all that energy has nowhere to go. It gets stuck. Over time, that frozen energy can weigh you down, leaving you feeling numb or on edge, sometimes both at once.
Trauma isn’t just a mental scar; it’s a full-body experience. I’ve heard clients describe everything from constant stomach issues to feeling jumpy at the smallest sound. Here are some signs trauma might be lingering:
What’s tricky is that these symptoms can get more complicated over time. Sometimes, they don’t even seem connected to the original event anymore. It’s like your body remembers, even if your mind tries to forget.
Here’s something I find fascinating: our brains, in many ways, work just like other animals’ brains when we’re under threat. Think about a wild animal—say, an impala escaping a lion. Once it’s safe, it literally shakes off the stress and gets back to grazing. Humans? We tend to hold on. That unused survival energy gets trapped, and our bodies keep pumping out stress hormones long after the danger has passed.
That’s why trauma memories can feel so physical—your brain stores them as fragments, not neat stories. The rational part of your mind takes a back seat, and your instincts take over. Unless you find a way to “shake it off,” that stuck energy can keep you feeling anxious or disconnected for years.
It’s easy to feel alone with trauma, but the truth is, you’re not. About 70% of people worldwide will go through something potentially traumatic at some point. Not everyone develops PTSD, though. Only about 3.9% of people have had PTSD at some stage, and just a small percentage of those exposed to trauma will develop it. The risk depends on what happened and how you experienced it.
PTSD isn’t just about flashbacks. It can show up in all sorts of ways:
Reliving the event: intrusive memories, nightmares, or sudden flashbacks
Avoiding reminders: steering clear of places, people, or things that bring back memories
Memory gaps: not being able to remember parts of what happened
Always on alert: feeling jumpy, easily startled, or unable to relax
Daily life disrupted: trouble at work, school, or in relationships
Other struggles: guilt, shame, anger, depression, substance use, or even thoughts of self-harm
If these sound familiar, know that it’s not your fault—and help is out there.
Here’s the hopeful part: healing is possible. Over the years, I’ve seen people find relief, even after years of feeling stuck. Here are some strategies that really make a difference:
Final Thoughts: There’s Hope, Even When It Doesn’t Feel Like It
Trauma can feel like it’s taken over your story, but it doesn’t have to be the ending. Understanding how trauma works is the first step toward reclaiming your life. With the right support and tools, you can find your way back to connection, energy, and hope.
If you’re struggling, please know you’re not alone. At In Vivo – Centre for REBT, we’re here to walk with you, using evidence-based therapies tailored to your needs. Healing isn’t always quick or easy, but it is possible—and you deserve it.
Ready to take a step forward? Reach out, share your story, and let’s begin this journey together.
About Author –
Swati Khanolkar –
Director of In Vivo and AEI Certified REBT Supervisor & Faculty
‘In Vivo’ was started in 2007 with the aim of making people aware – in their minds and in action – that they themselves have the ability and the power to make a ‘Proactive Choice’ to take …Read More
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