I find myself thinking about people a lot. I thought that was the obvious outcome of being a psychotherapist by profession. But I am pretty sure now that my interest in observing, thinking and learning about people starts on a very personal level. My profession is an extension of it.
People are basically different and variable. What makes them dull to me is when they begin to behave like each other, when they all begin to conform to some idea of ‘normality’. Some people remain exactly the same years later, and take pride in the fact that the years could not add or subtract anything from who they were.
People are scared of being themselves, of knowing themselves, of showing themselves. It’s like they are trying to constantly protect themselves from everyone/from everything.
People are scared to live and love. They are scared to give all they have to a relationship, to their work, to living life! Vulnerable people scared of their vulnerability and ambiguous people scared of both ambiguity and clarity.
People are too busy trying to be someone else; constantly living a ‘borrowed reality’; thinking and feeling the way one ‘should’, the ‘right’ way, the ‘appropriate’ way or the ‘helpful’ way.
Some people, who desperately want to be happy, are unhappy about not being as happy as they should be. While some desperately want to hold on to their disturbance because that’s the only thing that gives them comfort.
There are people with questions, who are looking for answers. There are people with answers that they will never question and then there are people with questions they are scared of finding the answers to.
Some people want to blindly believe, even in the absence of any evidence, and there are others who don’t want to believe in spite of substantial proof.
Which kind am I? I think I have been a bit of everything at different times and in different contexts. I guess it keeps me interested in myself!
One question that is niggling my mind is, when dealing with such magnitude of variability in people, how could we possibly really ‘know’ anyone completely or fully? How could we ever ‘know’ another individual well enough to predict with complete certainty that he/she wouldn’t change?
But accepting this, wholly and truly is so difficult!! Is that why we humans strive so hard to maintain the illusion of predictability of human behavior?